Bisexual, bi-curious or is there an inbetween?
Updated: Feb 7, 2022
Many of us are familiar with the term bisexuality, but what is bi-curiousity and can you be anywhere in between?
Bi-curious generally means you are interested and curious to experience sexual encounters with the same sex. It may be a one off encounter and it may or may not become part of your lifestyle. It may as the term suggests simply be a curiosity that may even be fleeting. It may only live in your fantasy world and you may or may not bring it into reality with a real encounter. Does it mean you are gay? It really depends on your definition of your sexuality and what you feel and ultimately it is for you to decide how you feel. Maybe you are not ready or will never be ready to accept that bisexuality is part of your sexual life, and it is merely a curiosity. Again, this is your choice and you decide where you are comfortable being on the sexuality spectrum.
Could it be, that you are not sure yet of your true sexual orientation. There is a huge scale of possibilities within sexuality. It is fluid and different terms mean something different things to different people. The terms are there so we can communicate, so we can share and understand how we feel not to create labels and are set in stone.
There is no conclusive scale of sexuality, the closest we have is the Kinsey Scale. That said, the majority of us can position ourselves on the Kinsey Scale.
Rating | Description 0 | Exclusively heterosexual 1 | Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual 2 | Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual 3 | Equally heterosexual and homosexual 4 | Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual 5 | Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual 6 | Exclusively homosexual X | No socio-sexual contacts or reactions
*Source: Kinsey Institute - https://kinseyinstitute.org/research/publications/kinsey-scale.php
What is the difference between being bi-curious and bisexual? The simplest way to define it is to say bi-curious is just that, the interest or curiosity that you may or may not have experienced. The term bisexuality means you are probably more certain of your attraction to two genders, male and female. You still may or may not have had actual sexual experience in life. If you have an attraction beyond the male and female genders and you feel you are pansexual, this is a conversation for another article.
Being bisexual does not mean you are necessarily living a bisexual life , it can simply be the desire and knowledge that you are sexually drawn to both males and females. At the end of the day these terms are there to help not to hinder. Terminology is there to help us to communicate how we feel with ourselves and others not to put labels on ourselves. Terminology is there to break down judgement barriers not to create them.
It can be scary and confusing if you are bi-curious and it may change at different stages of your life as sexuality is not set in stone, it can ebb and flow. What arouses you changes over time and at different points in your life. You may have felt you understood your sexuality and then it changes for any number of reasons and that is difficult to wrap your head around. It will of course be up to you as to what you do with those thoughts. Whether they stay as fantasy or if you feel the need to do something. Only you can answer that, but the key is that this is your life and other peoples’ opinions are just that, their opinions. You may want to explore in private and take some time to bring this into your lifestyle. If you have a partner, I know it is easier said that done but try and communicate your feelings and be honest. It is so much easier if you are honest and your partner knows and loves all of you, with all its complexities and facets.
Is there an in-between?
The question of whether there is an in-between. We are all unique and so of course they are a myriad of possibilities that could describe your sexuality. We do not live in a box. You may need to explore once or all the time to understand your sexual identity. It is totally up to you and very individual as to whom you are attracted to and love, only you know. If you can reach out and talk to sex positive individuals, it may help you get a different perspective on how you feel. We know that is easy to say and the reality may be very complicated, but life is also messy and complicated and often does not follow a straight line.